Just a random thought, I think it’s kind of weird how people rely so much on the words I say when most of the time I’m just being sarcastic and it’s their fault for believing me. But here’s the thing, the sequence is that I say something sarcastic and then they believe me. Does the fact that I didn’t point out that I was just joking make me a liar? Well, probably.
But then again, people hear what they wanna hear. I like to be specific with my statements, even if they end up meaning something else to those who hear them. A lot of people have such a hard time telling lies when I don’t, like it’s my second language. And I think this habit may have been developed from years ago, when I discovered that people can actually shut up as long as you say the things they want to hear. Most of the time, I don’t really like listening to other people and goddamn, I absolutely hate it whenever they pester me whenever they want to know something that I know, so I just tell them what they want to hear. Delicious lies. If they believe me, it’s their problem. If they fall for it, it’s not my problem. It’s not my problem because they never ask me if what I tell them is true, and by then I really would have told them the truth. I don’t really care what they think anyway, as long as they leave me alone.
But don’t get me wrong. I just wanted to contemplate on this because it suddenly came to me. I just figured I should discuss it here.
But what I’m about to say is the truth: just because I’m a first-class liar doesn’t mean I do it all the time. When it comes down to things that actually matter, as much as possible I never try to lie. And just because I tell people what they want to hear so that they’ll leave me alone doesn’t mean I don’t find comfort in the company of other people. I like engaging in all kinds of conversations, but I just want to focus most of the time. Focus on nothing, actually. Well, I can’t really understand myself either. Whether or not this is a lie, I’m actually not sure myself. I don’t want to exert effort into trying to figure it out, though.