Achievement Unlocked: College Graduate!

Achievement Unlocked: College Graduate!

May 20, 2014
I finally did it. Bachelor of Science in Computer Engineering, Best Thesis.

This wouldn’t have been possible if i weren’t for my family and the people in helped in supporting me through college, emotionally and financially. I dedicate this to them, and my friends, especially my best friend Meeku, who couldn’t graduate with me this year. Even so, I chose to honor him by putting our agreement into action: raising our fists to the sky as soon as we get our hands on our diplomas.

I don’t know what the future holds, but right now, I’m invincible.

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15 Things We Forget To Thank Our Best Friends For

Thank you so much, Meeku and Niña, for sticking around when nobody else did, and for never leaving my side even though the three of us went through the most difficult things. Thank you for making my college life bearable, and so much fun than it should. Thank you for everything, you guys are my everything.

Thought Catalog

Parks and Recreation: Season 3Parks and Recreation: Season 3

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My best friends are an extraordinary group of people. They are all so different, yet so much alike. Some friendships I’ve had for years, some are new and growing stronger by the day. Either way, there are some things they all do for every day that I forget to thank them for. I feel like it’s about time to start, because without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

1. Thank you for being there not just when it’s convenient for you, but when it’s not. I know that I can call you at 2am and you’ll come running to my side. We all have our own things to deal with and adjustments to make, but you always take a break from your hectic life to make sure that I’m okay. When I need a shoulder to cry on, I know…

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The Graduates

The Graduates

These are the people I’ll be graduating with this Tuesday. I spent the last four years with them, and we struggled together as a brotherhood even though the years have already changed so many things. I’m still happy that I met them, worked with them, laughed and cried with them, and grew together with them.

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Baccalaureate Mass

Baccalaureate Mass

Today, I realized something. Graduation day is coming, the day I’ve been waiting for since freshman year. And right now it’s coming in so fast I have no idea what to do or how to feel. In just four days, it’s finally over. I can’t wait, but at the same time I don’t think I’m ready.

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“But there was one thing your aunt Robin never was; she was never alone.”
– Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother

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Looking Up

It wasn’t part of my plans for today, but I met with Nin again today at school, one day after she returned to Manila and twelve days after what happened, and I have to say, she looked better than I had expected. By better, I mean calmer and more grounded. I honestly expected her to still be somewhat fragile because it’s only been days, less than two weeks, but she looked like she was keeping it together quite nicely. Of course, this is only what goes on externally. What happened to her wasn’t easy, and she didn’t have to tell me, but if there’s one thing that’s clear, it’s that the wound is still fresh and one wrong word from my mouth could either break her again or cause her to summon so much strength that it forms in her as a fist and hits me with it. 

So what did I do? I gambled.

Well, it’s not exactly something I thought of, I guess it just came out when she arrived. I greeted her like she just came from a vacation somewhere far-off and talked about things that were funny and had absolutely nothing to do with what happened to her, thinking that distracting her and making her laugh would be healthy for her after all of the tears I imagined her pouring these past few days. At first I felt like a jackass because I figured she might think that I’m an asshole for not being more sympathetic, which I wouldn’t blame her for if she did. And that’s the thing, because two of my best friends over the past five years already experienced the same thing she went through and I had absolutely no idea what to do or say, and today I still played the jackass as if I had learned nothing from the past two experiences. I was ready for her to punch me in the face if she wanted to.

The old Nin would probably do that. But the new Nin was the one who was with me, and you know what she did? She laughed along, she talked to me about the things we would normally talk about if what happened didn’t happen, and she finally opened up about it all by herself once the thought came to her. And while she was talking, while I was listening to her, I could still feel the sadness. I could still feel how her stories were hurting her, but she was never hesitant to talk about it. She never cried. Misty eyed maybe, but she never cried. I was never good at reading people’s faces, but it was obvious that losing a significant part of her inflicted a wound that was still fresh. But for someone like her, she was handling everything pretty well. I have never seen so much strength. For someone I still expected to keep cheering up even after she returned from home, she was doing a pretty good job doing that all by herself. To tell you the truth, the three of us all believed in her and expected her to be stronger than ever after the incident, but a part of me wondered what kind of strength it’ll turn out to be because I didn’t want it to be the bad kind. And I am thankful to all of the gods out there that it gave her so much strength and maturity that it made her tower over me. The Nin I spent this day with was stronger than I could ever hope to be, and I’m so proud of her. She was different, but a good kind of different. No words could describe how much I missed seeing her smile and laugh and crack her corny jokes, especially after the last time I saw her. It was refreshing. Pretty soon she’ll no longer be the fragile little girl I’ve always taken her for, to be replaced by a strong, independent woman who learned from every slap in the face life has given her, but she’ll always be my little sister.

She may still be on the road to recovery, but if she keeps going up this way, I guarantee she’ll be stronger than any of us can ever imagine her to be, and wherever she goes, we’ll always be right behind her, supporting her when the need arises. Why? Because that’s what friends do.

Wherever he is, I’m sure he’s watching over you and he’s proud of you for being so strong.

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Just a random thought, I think it’s kind of weird how people rely so much on the words I say when most of the time I’m just being sarcastic and it’s their fault for believing me. But here’s the thing, the sequence is that I say something sarcastic and then they believe me. Does the fact that I didn’t point out that I was just joking make me a liar? Well, probably.

But then again, people hear what they wanna hear. I like to be specific with my statements, even if they end up meaning something else to those who hear them. A lot of people have such a hard time telling lies when I don’t, like it’s my second language. And I think this habit may have been developed from years ago, when I discovered that people can actually shut up as long as you say the things they want to hear. Most of the time, I don’t really like listening to other people and goddamn, I absolutely hate it whenever they pester me whenever they want to know something that I know, so I just tell them what they want to hear. Delicious lies. If they believe me, it’s their problem. If they fall for it, it’s not my problem. It’s not my problem because they never ask me if what I tell them is true, and by then I really would have told them the truth. I don’t really care what they think anyway, as long as they leave me alone.

But don’t get me wrong. I just wanted to contemplate on this because it suddenly came to me. I just figured I should discuss it here.

But what I’m about to say is the truth: just because I’m a first-class liar doesn’t mean I do it all the time. When it comes down to things that actually matter, as much as possible I never try to lie. And just because I tell people what they want to hear so that they’ll leave me alone doesn’t mean I don’t find comfort in the company of other people. I like engaging in all kinds of conversations, but I just want to focus most of the time. Focus on nothing, actually. Well, I can’t really understand myself either. Whether or not this is a lie, I’m actually not sure myself. I don’t want to exert effort into trying to figure it out, though.

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